Sorry i'm posting again- it seems once I start I just can't stop :-p
Just now, thinking about some events that have taken place the past few weeks, and some things I've observed, and different thoughts I've had... I came upon a realization tonight: I know now why I'm at the moment afraid of relationships. I think I have worked my mindset into not having to put effort into friendships/relationships. Because in some way, it's supposed to be easier than when I was in Northern Ireland. I had to work on making friends there because no one knew me and I didn't know anyone. I had to put myself out there and allow the bad to come with the good. When I came back home, its like I forgot that my friendships here need effort too... I don't have fully perfected friendships where nothing bad happens. I've seen the ramifications of just pulling away from a friendship when things aren't okay- friendship and relationships are all about putting in the effort to make things work, pushing through the tougher times so that the good times are that much sweeter.
I can't believe I've been so dumb, so hypocritical recently. Well, let's just say- a change of mindset and action is in order.
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