It has now been almost 4 months that I have been back in America... it feels like it has been much much longer than that. It's amazing how quickly time passes, and yet - at the same time - it seems like things happened so long ago. Every day I am reminded of something or someone from Northern Ireland, but I can feel the pull of every-day-life draining me of that experience. I am holding so tightly to the memories, and the things I learned, the friends I made... I don't want to let go, to "move on" in a full sense... yet I feel a sort of "inevitability" hanging over my head, something that continues to tug me in a direction, a pace in which I cannot spend time reminiscing about those times. I do not, by any means, dwell on these things, not in the unhealthy sense that is. I simply enjoy pulling from that 6 month- experience in which my entire world was different and my view-point and thought-processes grew and changed. This period of time was part of what really fashioned me into who I am now. God has used these experiences in so many good ways, even the worst times while there, the days and weeks when I was so down I didn't know what to do with myself. Those moments became so beautiful with how God used them to teach me more about Himself.
I understand that God is doing that with me here and now as well, but there was something different about it then, when I was there, I was so out of the norm of my life thus far... it was so different, and so challenging. Right now, I'm learning, I am being academically stretched, and I am being challenged with finding where I now fit. The difference here, though, is that I already had a place here, I've been here before, I know how things work, I know where places are, I can predict things, and simply go about my day without much thought.
This has, however, gotten me into some trouble. We were not made to live mindlessly... we were created to be mindful and use our brains- which I have academically. Outside the classroom and realm of homework- I'm a dud. I've seemed to be lacking in my once-great people skills. I've forgotten my ways of communication, how to move past small talk in a smooth and non-awkward fashion. How do I put my thoughts into words that make sense? How do I go beyond listening to someone and forming an adequate as well as honest response?
Anyways- this has turned out to be a very strange post- probably not very interesting to read... so if you've read this, all the way through, I'm sorry and well done =) Keep me in your prayers as I am financially and mentally preparing to graduate from Huntington University, and heading to George Fox Evangelical Seminary to get my Master's. God is truly taking me down this path as I have been able to see His hand working these pieces together amazingly. Even though I would have never imagined I'd be going to grad school after college.... crazy! Thanks so much friends and family. May God bless you all richly.
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