So I'm posting a lot of blogs this week-

I guess there's just lots on my mind and I haven't found a better way to process things yet- but hey... blogging is good right? It's funny though, when I think about the vastly different array of people that read my blogs... it sometimes makes me a little cautious... not in a bad way- just that, I dunno... it makes me cautious. Anyways-----

Well, first week of classes, this often brings out some sort of crazy feelings from college students. I suppose we could say I am no different. It's funny though, because I don't really feel like I belong in the college realm any more- I don't like the thought of procrastinating, I'm feeling tired all the time *and I go to bed early!* and I just feel like I don't belong here. I know this is common and ordinary for us seniors who spent first semester on PRIME... it's how we all feel, every year the PRIMErs say the same things. So- okay I'm not alone in feeling this way-- somehow, it's really not helping. Another funny thing is - as I was looking through some job openings online, thinking about the future, I just kept feeling and thinking- I couldn't handle that job, or I don't have the right training for that! I would need help, at least for the first while. Then I thought, how does anyone just go and work some where, surely it's gotta be terrifying, to feel so incompetent all the time... not sure how to do things, how do you create programs that actually help people.

So- as I read what I just wrote... the thoughts I've been fighting all day- wow. Satan has such a good way at getting to some of our deepest fears and bringing them to the top of the kettle and watching it, hoping we boil over. I know something big is coming up soon in my life because Satan has been attacking many different little areas of my life this week. He's attacked my confidence, my self-esteem, my somewhat physical endurance, I've allowed all these things to tear at my trust, my faith that God actually works through my weaknesses. Can you believe that?! God actually works THROUGH our WEAKNESSES. Ponder this for a while, its late and I'm tired.

Live for HIS glory.