you're everywhere.

Okay... so I've been asked multiple times to get a new post up here... sorry it's only getting up now!!

I've been back in America for over a month now... over a month!! That just seems so crazy! It's sad... already certain memories have to be drawn out of me, rather than them just being on the tip of my mind... I often find myself sitting and thinking about something from my time there, just trying to hold on to it longer. It definitely warms my heart when I think about my friends there, and it amazes me how close you can feel to someone in that short amount of time, when you are spending every day together. I miss those that I worked with so very much. This past month has been one of great joy and reuniting, Christmas, wedding, etc... but it has also been a month of great sadness and great loneliness. I learned while I was in Northern Ireland, though, how to walk with God in the depth of my loneliness, and that has brought great strength in this time. I'm heading back to Huntington (Uni) on Sunday after church... and I'm so excited about it because I'll be around people all the time again. I gotta admit however, that I'm pretty nervous about it. I've been used to spending my days alone and having great times of silence and solitude, things I've never really enjoyed before, and even when I thought I might I never wanted to take the time to enjoy them, and so this change will be hard, and challenging. But it will be so good.

It's funny... Every time I'm out in public- like in a walmart or even just driving somewhere... I always see someone I think I know, but then realize it can't be because you live in a different country! You're not anywhere near here! But I see you all the time, and no, I'm not just speaking to one person... I've 'seen' so many of you from Green Pastures/The Wash Basin it almost is freakin me out! haha not really, but it is mad how often I have to take second glances.

So, as I am moving back to HU I'm realizing more and more that things are coming up very quickly. Real life things. and it makes me wish I could just go back a few years when I had independence but still was at liberty to live fairly carefree. Instead I'm looking at headin into the "real world" and its a scary looking place. Its true I have options out the wazoo as far as what to do next.... but I don't really know what I want. I thought I knew what I wanted but it looks like thats not whats going to happen, nor is it the best option apparently. But even more than that, I feel like I know what the best option is, I just don't know if thats something I'll really want to be doing still in a few years... Grad School, I feel that is what I will end up doing- honestly- and the masters degree I'm looking at getting at the school I'm looking at going to will take 3 years. 3 years of working and getting a masters, 3 years with probably a minimal social life, 3 years of getting involved in ministry 'on the side' as opposed to getting right into 'full time' ministry... is that really I want? Well, I think it is actually, I think I just feel like I should want the more exciting options (which I do...) but I think there are other things that are potentially more important than "the exciting" options... I think if i follow this path, it will inevitably lead to more and more exciting options that I will know that I must take and will fall right into place as God designs... He's left me with a choice here, and while my decision has by no means been made yet, I think I know what the better option is at this point in time...